Fashion and my journey through depression.

Fashion and my journey through depression.


Hi, I’m a 30 year old working mom of 2 and college student from Chile, where winter is rearing its ugly head.

**This was my favorite outfit when I was** [**depressed**](https://www.instagram.com/p/BSroTPEDCIoN-CigYCErfpGQFuvFmC_enSmIaY0/?taken-by=booleanvaluetrue)**.** I took that selfie right before I got diagnosed with the most serious illness I’ve ever battled. Fortunately, everything is better now.

I remember vividly how getting dressed hurt every morning, how clothes grazing against my skin caused only pain and discomfort. Wearing “real pants”, or anything other than my older brothers’ 15 year old sweatpants seemed pointless. Combing my hair, wearing anything that wasn’t oversized, any effort at all didn’t make any sense. My outfits were an iteration of that old cardigan, hoodies, and black leggings for work. I wore the same jacket every day that winter, hardly ever took it off.

[**This** ](https://www.instagram.com/p/BbrcSYQjOCb/?taken-by=booleanvaluetrue)**is the first outfit I wore** when I went shopping for clothes for the first time after my depression started subsiding, thanks to a great therapist and large doses of medication. I remember thinking I wanted to wear a dress, even though I didn’t even remember what I liked in fashion. Grey was a good start. It’s a great neutral! (sorry about the quality).

For the first time in my life, now that I’ve been feeling better, I’ve been finding my style. Months have passed and I feel active, I feel love and joy. Also, I rediscovered my love for fashion.

Nowadays, my style includes lots of neutrals: grey, beige, black, white. I’m into sneakers and booties, I like black tights, high rise jeans, crop tops, everything high waisted really. I started wearing skirts for the first time in my life. I **recently found a picture of** [**my aunt and my mother**](https://www.instagram.com/p/BjVDBbPF-COg4ZscHrKUmMC4z7YiPQwsk7QbQM0/?taken-by=booleanvaluetrue) **(in grey) and it’s been a great style inspiration.**

I’m working on taking enough pictures to participate in WAYWT. This community has been of great help in my recovery. Thank you all!

**My current style:**

[Current picture 1](https://www.instagram.com/p/BjVtfeFlWEjcCIIZzITry2C_swtLmfQs46J7oI0/?taken-by=booleanvaluetrue)

[Current picture 2](https://www.instagram.com/p/BjFShHbFkO_dSMJpf9jsAhLHsNhrHBBbDzucT80/?taken-by=booleanvaluetrue)



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Comments ( 32 )
  1. Milabial
    May 29, 2018 at 7:29 pm
    Reply

    Thanks for sharing! I’m so glad you’re feeling better.

    As for WAYWT, even one picture is enough to post!

  2. Him_Muse
    May 29, 2018 at 8:17 pm
    Reply

    Wow, well done! You look very stylish in your current pics, and I love the 80s glamour of your mom!

  3. l3x1uth0r
    May 29, 2018 at 8:21 pm
    Reply

    I love this! I always feel so hopeful and proud when people are able to pull themselves out of mental health battles. Your fashion is on point, and you look great! Great work on everything, you’re killing it! <3

  4. skelezombie
    May 29, 2018 at 9:14 pm
    Reply

    So happy you’re finding yourself again, depression is terrible. 🙂

  5. syri3
    May 29, 2018 at 9:23 pm
    Reply

    this!! I just realized last week how depression affected my style. so cool to see a post on it today 🙂 you look great!

  6. humblebwonderful
    May 29, 2018 at 9:34 pm
    Reply

    Girls got hella style.

  7. MostlyHarmlessXO
    May 29, 2018 at 9:58 pm
    Reply

    I love it! Thank you for posting. I remember when I was very depressed I wore the same jeans and sweatshirt every day over my pajama shirt.

    Do you ever have trouble with feeling “right” in nice clothes? That’s the issue I still have at times.

  8. redalmondnails
    May 29, 2018 at 10:08 pm
    Reply

    You look so good and so happy! I’m going through a similar situation, I’ve noticed now that my antidepressants are starting to work I have more interest in blouses/dresses that I never would’ve worn before. Cheers to a successful recovery!

  9. beachgoth93
    May 29, 2018 at 10:08 pm
    Reply

    Thank you for this very important post ❤️ It’s crazy how depression can take hold of something seemingly simple as getting dressed. I know when I was at my worst I went from being fashionable to wearing the same outfit for days on end. I’m so glad you are doing better and thank you for sharing and bringing awareness.

  10. badicaleight
    May 29, 2018 at 10:21 pm
    Reply

    Auntie’s bangs and mom’s sweater! 😀 I love the throwback.

  11. thurn_und_taxis
    May 29, 2018 at 10:22 pm
    Reply

    Your style is so awesome. I love neutrals, especially blacks/greys, and always resent the fact that some people think they’re inherently boring…your outfits are great evidence that they don’t have to be boring at all!

  12. yozhik0607
    May 29, 2018 at 11:02 pm
    Reply

    Thank you for sharing this! It was very inspiring to read. I have struggled with very similar feelings. In my case, being depressed cause me to binge-eat which caused me to gain a bunch of weight rather quickly (I have struggled with disordered eating on and off for a long time, but I only ever binge-eat when specifically *depressed*, during two distinct periods of my life, one very recent I’m still recovering from) and I couldn’t wear any of my regular clothes. This contributed intensely to my feeling like I was the WRONG version of myself – the undepressed version, the version wearing my *own* clothes – and it was so disheartening to wear things that I had found or bought and wore just because they fit and were acceptable to be seen in public, rather than because I truly liked them and felt awesome and good wearing them. I’m still not back to my “normal” size quite yet but can wear a lot of my dresses which is encouraging! (I’m [wearing one right now] (http://imgur.com/uz74oXw) in fact!)

    Good luck continuing on your path! And you are totally rocking it in that dress for your “going shopping” outfit 🙂

  13. sarxna
    May 29, 2018 at 11:05 pm
    Reply

    This is awesome. I recently realized how much depression has affected my wardrobe: lots of big baggy sweaters and sweatpants. So now I’m making conscious changes to wear clothes I like that make me happy and are fun and cute. It makes me feel good to know others have gone through this too 🙂

  14. ChicagoSince1997
    May 29, 2018 at 11:40 pm
    Reply

    Thank you for sharing. I too struggle with depression, and I’m actually wearing a dress today for the first time in the longest time. I’ve always loved wearing nice clothes with jewelry and a hint of makeup, and I feel so frustrated with myself when I don’t have the energy to put on anything besides sweatpants and a t-shirt with holes in it. I’m so happy you’re feeling better! And that grey dress looks amazing on you. Muchos besos from Chicago

  15. virgoof
    May 30, 2018 at 2:05 am
    Reply

    This is beautiful

  16. ejb2164
    May 30, 2018 at 2:09 am
    Reply

    Wow! Your style is amazing and I’m so glad you’re doing better! Keep rocking it!

  17. 0rganicMatter
    May 30, 2018 at 3:30 am
    Reply

    What body types should avoid high waisted bottoms? I like the look on other people, but I’m not getting the same vibe when I see them on me. I can’t tell if it’s in my head/lack of confidence or if it’s because I’m short and a little stubby 😅

  18. MeiFrancis
    May 30, 2018 at 3:35 am
    Reply

    The gray dress is the money shot, totally stunning.
    I have been battling depression and general mental issues since childhood, so I developed a depression section of my closet which is vaguely goth (boots, draped cardigans, Victorian pieces from free people, chokers). You can always tell when I’m depressed because I work at an office so my daily clothing is the banana republic/j.crew/Ann Taylor boredom :p it’s a stark difference!

    Glad you found your style, and you have an excellent figure!

  19. tacosafari
    May 30, 2018 at 3:56 am
    Reply

    Thank you for this post. I’m in the middle stage, where it’s getting better but it’s still hard to dress nicely or care. I hope that once I break free of this I’ll be as fashionable as you!

  20. hleedunnigan
    May 30, 2018 at 5:11 am
    Reply

    I’m so inspired by your story, I see someone I love dearly losing self expression in clothing. It hurts to see; I see that hope and creativity take energy and passion. I’m glad to see those 2 things have returned in your life, perhaps it’s time I started asking more about meds.

  21. surprised_elf
    May 30, 2018 at 10:12 am
    Reply

    Also coming out of depression, and able to enjoy colours a lot more, although my style suffered a bit too, its getting a lot more concrete.

  22. amperscandalous
    May 30, 2018 at 10:24 am
    Reply

    My favorite thing about grey is that it builds a bridge between black and brown! I’ve spent years now wearing these three neutrals together. As long as grey is in the party, they work, but because they’re “mismatched,” they always look fresh.

  23. tilmitt52
    May 30, 2018 at 12:26 pm
    Reply

    I have never related more to a post on this sub. I am roughly the same age as you, and a working mom myself. I have battled depression for the majority of the last decade. It has always been easy for me to wear shapeless, drab clothes because, what was the point of dressing like I cared when I really didn’t?

    I had never realized until recently how much physical pain I had been in due to depression and how that constantly played a role in how I presented myself. Now that I am medicated, in therapy and leading a healthier lifestyle, I see just how far down I was. And you know what? I care so much more about what I present to the world, because I feel good again, and I want others to feel good about me.

    This is the fun part of life. Exploration of who we are after it’s been lost to us for so long. This is my reason for getting up every day.

    Excellent work, OP. You, and everyone fighting the mental health fight, are rockstars. Keep it up <3

  24. throwawaybunny000
    May 30, 2018 at 2:27 pm
    Reply

    Wow, I definitely relate to this. I spent all of high school cycling through the same tiny wardrobe of shabby ill fitting clothes that I hated, and wore the same outfits more than once a week because I didn’t even see the point of trying to make an effort in anything.

    I still feel depressed, but wearing cute clothes and trying to make myself look more presentable has definitely helped how I feel about myself. I’m thinking about trying therapy again.

  25. wendybirds
    May 30, 2018 at 2:49 pm
    Reply

    this is a really lovely and uplifting post and made me cry a bit. your outfits are adorable, and frankly while i am enamored of the sheer COMFINESS of that first outfit, it’s clear how much more enjoyable it was to put together all of the other outfits for you, and how it isn’t really all that healthy to wear the first thing every day, day after day. it is something to remind myself– i don’t think i have ever struggled with depression to the point of needing to get diagnosed/medicated for it, but it is something there that i, we all, struggle with, on different levels, and different days.

  26. ccerulean
    May 30, 2018 at 3:12 pm
    Reply

    Isn’t it amazing how we express ourselves even in rough times? I was diagnosed with a chronic illness in 2014, and two pieces of clothing I purchased and wore constantly that year were [a surplus-type jacket](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/originals/87/2e/0b/872e0b536afc343f4243c23de5be029b.jpg) and [combat boots](https://i.pinimg.com/originals/ae/8d/13/ae8d138cd5b9f75e3cb3015a56a6fe15.jpg). Although I didn’t realize it then, now looking back I think it was interesting I chose these military-inspired pieces when I was battling my illness. I’m glad you’re doing better and thanks for sharing!

  27. JugsJudy93
    May 30, 2018 at 3:53 pm
    Reply

    Your style is gorgeous, so are you! Keep your chin up, you are so strong.

  28. throwawayeveryday00
    May 30, 2018 at 5:34 pm
    Reply

    Thank you for posting this, I really needed to hear this today. You look hella good and I’m so happy for the progress you’ve made! Keep it up!

  29. EmilyinExile
    May 30, 2018 at 5:47 pm
    Reply

    Self care is so important and hard to focus on when battling depression at the same time. And I think women are really pushed to take care of others needs first, especially when they have children. Good for you for fighting so hard and finding something to help you also feel better about how you face the world.

  30. mscandalous
    May 30, 2018 at 5:49 pm
    Reply

    This is great and YOU are great, fellow south-american! Good luck on everything <3

  31. mbaby
    May 30, 2018 at 5:54 pm
    Reply

    love your current style, and congrats 🙂

  32. lovelystrange
    June 1, 2018 at 9:34 am
    Reply

    This is so relatable.

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